D is for Decisions

Today’s post was originally going to be about Donuts, but I’ve got something else on my mind now, so I made a last minute decision to write something else here today.

At the end of 2013, I made the decision to leave Corporate America. I was tired of being downsized, tired of being a commodity that wasn’t valued, tired of being a ‘resource’ that was not always even treated as human.  I took the freelance business I’d worked on part-time for pretty much my entire corporate career and made it my full-time gig.

I took tons of classes, learned a ton of new software, set up systems, got a website built and had my first client, a referral from someone I’d done freelance work for. I’ve gotten new clients, I’ve parted ways with some clients and things have gone along, slowly but surely. But, I’m not making nearly what I was making working corporate jobs and Mr.POSSLQ has had to shoulder way more than his fair share of the financial burden.  I went from being the top wage earner in our household to (what feels to me) being dead weight.

Periodically, I get emails from recruiters, but they all offer laughably low wages and an unenviable commute. and with Mr.POSSLQ’s schedule, public transportation would be my only choice and even with our new location, we’re still pretty much 2 hours from everywhere via public transportation.

Still, we now have a new(er) car and I’m feeling like I really, really need to at least be able to get to the point where I am not relying on Mr.POSSLQ for income (so he can not have to worry how to make car note payments AND buy groceries).

I was hoping that the discussion I had with a potential client was going to pan out. It would have, with my current client base, bumped me up to something very closely resembling ‘full-time’ work and have given me some solid income.  I really thought that things were going to move forward, but, they seem to be stalled. And maybe it will still happen, but I am feeling much less optimistic today than I was on Monday.

But I also applied for a corporate job. Which I will only take if I can work remotely. Because moving to California isn’t going to happen. (The job would have a phenomenal salary if what the friend who works there tells me is correct, but it’s still a salary that would have me in a closet-sized efficiency apartment in California and, really, I have no aspirations towards ‘tiny house’ living.)

There may be difficult decisions in my future. I do not envy me.


4 thoughts on “D is for Decisions

  1. Being that i work for myself, too, i understand. May the best outcome possible happen in this situation!

  2. There may be difficult decisions in my future. I do not envy me.

    You have two things going, which is better than zero. Hang tight this month.

    [‘I got a decent feeling.’]

  3. I can totally understand your anxiety! We all get into uncomfortable situations in life. I am not a big fan of corporate life myself. It plainly lacks the motivation to pursue and satisfaction of achievement for me.
    I wish you move through the current predicament to the other side with flying colors.:)
    Best Wishes!

  4. I’ve got some big decisions to make at some point in the future, and I’ve had some big ones to make in the past as well. It’s never an easy process but I like to think that one way or another it will all work out for the best.

    Cait @ Click’s Clan

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