Disconnected

Most of the time I really enjoy working from home. No commute. No co-workers (unless you count my snoopervising felines).  No hovering boss or supervisor.

But, it is very easy to feel as though you are disconnected from, well, everything.  Add to that the fact that Mr. POSSLQ works nights so I really only see him on the weekend and you’ll have a clue why I talk to my cats. (They don’t know yet that starting in 2015, we’re going to have staff meetings).

Further exacerbating the situation is that with me here ALL THE TIME, Mr. POSSLQ doesn’t get much down time that’s not consumed by sleep unless I pretend he’s not here. But, it’s almost lonelier when you are in the same room with someone and trying to let them have space as it is just being in that room alone.

I find myself wishing more and more for the space to be able to have my WORK space away from shared space with Mr. POSSLQ.  I end up feeling like I am working ALL THE TIME.  But, we don’t have the space nor do we have the money for me to have a totally separate computer (because if we did, I’d get my MAC so I can STOP HAVING TO TURN AWAY WORK! ARGH!)

I’m working really hard to not get peevish about activities that take time and attention away from me. And I have an intellectual awareness that the problem is not Mr. POSSLQ, it’s the fact that I don’t really have any contacts that aren’t work related. I have no social life. My friends are pretty much all online and it’s not as if I spend much time chatting with anyone (and woe betide anyone I DO talk to, because I tend to get carried away in “OMG! Someone to talk to!!”)

Clouds and cornI don’t foresee any of this changing in the coming year.  I don’t see any way for us to afford to move (thus changing our “space” restrictions), nor do I honestly think that we have the ability to tolerate the moodiness and tense atmosphere a move creates,  I don’t see us getting a second car (for both financial and practical reasons. The car we have is, at 15 years old and 200,000+ miles really needing to be replaced. Soon. And it’s just not in the cards) so there’s really going to be no opportunity to expand the ol’ social circle. And, I don’t think it’s reasonable for me to demand any more time/energy/attention from Mr. POSSLQ (because I’m pretty sure that 90% of the time he’s probably wishing me into the cornfield –  bonus geek points if you get the reference without having to look!)

Annnnd… now that it’s 5AM, guess I’d better get some sleep.  Back to dreaming about a home and space and other things I’d find over the rainbow.

One thought on “Disconnected

  1. Girl, I totally get you. I work from home too, and since I switched teams, I no longer have to do any “face to face” visits. Since I deal with out of state/out of plan cases, well, it’s all home all the time. 99% of the time it’s great, and I still think this is the best job ever. Hubby is busy studying his butt off, or at school. We also have the one and only car. It’s me and the very needy dog.

    I should schedule a lunch out once a while, if I had someone to lunch with. Like you, all my contacts are work related.

    Come to Albuquerque–we’ll do lunch!

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