As is fairly typical for me when I am going to be traveling, thoughts creep in about ‘what if…’ and all of the worst case scenarios start crowding into my brain. I’m sure it will come as no surprise to anyone who reads this blog regularly that I am not exactly a ‘chill’ sort of person, but rather a pretty tightly wound ball of anxiety. I really try to NOT be that way, but I think this is one of those things that’s just built into my personality. As much as I try to live by the motto/mantra ‘Que Sera Sera’ (which I maintain is the Darkstar Family Motto), I am wrapped in worry quite a bit.
And rationally I know that it doesn’t help anything to worry about it and that it simply is what it is and all that you can ever realistically do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best and be happy with anything between those two extremes.
The political climate is certainly not doing anything to quell my anxiety level and there are other things going on that have me pretty concerned about the state of things and where things are headed. It’s probably not helping things much that I am not sleeping well, either. And going to visit my mom doesn’t help much in the sleep department because the guest bed is a twin-size bed (I am used to a Queen size bed, so I am always worried about the potential of falling out of bed at Mom’s) and although, again, I know it is not a rational fear, I get all freaked out by the fact that there are scorpions in AZ and Mom HAS had them in her house. I don’t have a ton of phobias, but I am absolutely terrified of scorpions. Which is sort of weird because I am usually pretty ok with spiders and I’m not one of those women that is super freaked out by bugs in general but scorpions… scorpions = terrified MsDarkstar.
I also find myself straightening up my office thinking about how things should be if (worst case scenarios, remember?) I don’t come back. So, yeah… I’m a ton of fun to be around right now. Which is why I should probably get some sleep.