Hanging On vs. Letting Go

It’s interesting how songs that are supposed to be about romantic relationships also sometimes have relevance to other situations.

I recently had a long-term, non-romantic relationship go into complete meltdown mode. The other person (from my perspective anyhow) is just completely out of touch with reality and isn’t seeing how their behavior is leading to issues plus, they’re just being hugely irresponsible in a lot of ways.  I’ve long felt like I should be trying harder for this person and that maybe I should do more but also realize that there’s never been much effort on their part and that, realistically, my attitude of forgiveness isn’t really helping anyone.  So, when this person recently decided that they were going to cut me out of their life, I decided I’m not even going to try to fix things this time and maybe that it’s time to just call it quits. (Which then made me think of THIS song)

Back when I was a teenager, my Mom shared with me at some point something that I felt was an awful thing for her to say, at the time (I still feel like it was an awful thing for her to actually TELL me this). She told me that when she and my stepfather dropped me off at Boarding School she was just SO relieved for me to be gone that they spent the weekend celebrating. (I should note that she also told me she felt she had to choose between her husband and her daughter and you will note that *I* was sent away…)  I just thought (at the time) that it was pretty terrible for a parent to feel that way. And yet, because of things that have happened in my life, I now understand the feeling of there being people in your life that even though you LOVE them, you might not always LIKE them very much. And sometimes, no matter how much you care about someone, you need to walk away from a relationship to be able to save yourself.  (I’ve realized a LOT in the past few years how rotten things must have been for my Mom and that dealing with me is no picnic).

I don’t mean that we shouldn’t work on relationships or that you run at the first sign of trouble.  With the Wasband, I probably should have never gotten married in the first place. I most certainly should have left by the end of the second year, but I felt like I had to try.  Especially since it was my third marriage. In the end, though, there was only one person trying to make the relationship work and I still truly believe that there was no alternative to walking away as I did. (Well, there was another alternative but I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this if I’d done as I had planned).

Sometimes, though, it takes stepping away from a relationship to realize that it was more toxic than you thought.  Making the break is seldom easy. But sometimes it is necessary.

Relationships are like glass, sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to pick up the pieces.