Horsemen on the Horizon

Something happened that has me shaken up pretty badly (sorry for being vague, but not mine to talk about) and it slapped me upside the head and made me realize that I really need to pull myself together and have some backup plans in place.  Much of this has been nagging at me for months now and then slammed right back into center stage last night.  It’s made me realize that I really need to have a plan in place and I hope against hope that the timeline is longer than I am envisioning at the moment.  It feels a bit, though, like standing at crossroads and seeing a tidal wave sweeping up from one direction, a raging fire from another and seeing a desert stretch as far as the eye can see  down the last direction forward.

I have been reading so much online lately about people’s lives changing in the blink of an eye. And there’s a certain detachment when you read about it happening to other people (although I have spent quite a bit of time weeping lately for the heart breaking things happening to Internet friends). But coming to the realization that you are not immune to it is not at all pleasant. I’m not going to lie, I’m terrified by what the worst case scenario could very likely mean for me. (Homelessness, losing everything including that tools I need to make a living).

As tempting as it is to dive into bed, burrow under the covers and never come out again, I doubt there will be much sleeping happening tonight.

And then THIS came along.